My Maiden Voyage
I did something this weekend I’ve never done before.
I went to the movies.
On — gasp — Saturday night.
Not a matinee — the 7:35 p.m. show.
Really, this shouldn’t be a big deal for me. I’m a sociable hermit. While I love going out with friends and meeting newbies, I like my weekends quiet. I spend much of my Mondays through Fridays talktalktalking to people about their creative ideas and communication needs, my butt parked in conference rooms a good fifteen hours each week. By Friday evening I’m ready for quiet. Just me, myself, I.
Cue it up, boys: Joan Armatrading: Me Myself I
To be honest, I’ve hit that age where I get grumpy if I have plans Friday night AND Saturday night. I need a day to recharge. I love weekends when I have nothing going on.
And that’s the weekend I had planned: nothing but books and takeout Thai and naps. The floor around my bed was littered with literature, the fridge was chilling a bottle of Two Buck Chuck, Top Spice had filled my to-go bag.
But then, come 6 p.m. Saturday, I was restless. My cable was out and the repairman wasn’t due until Sunday, so I couldn’t lose myself in romantic comedies or a “Closer” marathon. The books, while good, weren’t keeping my attention, and the cats weren’t in a conversational mood. It was too late to make plans with a friend … so I decided to see a movie by myself.
I’ve gone to the movies solo many, many times — but never on a date night. I was always afraid of appearing lonely and sad, possibly homeless. After a deep e-mail conversation with one of my favorite girls and one Bastard of a sweet guy, I decided to take the plunge.
I drove to my favorite theater — the one that serves wine and real butter on popcorn, the one that plays artier flicks and documentaries. I bought a ticket, got my pinot grigio and buttered popcorn, and grabbed a seat in Theater 3.
Alone. Smack dab in the center.
What did I see? The Ten — irreverent skits based on the Ten Commandments. Excellent cast, including adorable Top-fiver Paul Rudd … many members of The State comedy troupe ... Cup Hair Hall of Famer Oliver Platt as an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator … and Rob Corddry in a romantic prison role. Justin Theroux made the Top Five list thanks to his portrayal of Jesus H. Christ, but I enjoyed the narrator of that skit even more. Oh, and you guys may like the chicks: Famke Janssen, Wynona Ryder, Gretchen Mol, and Jessica Alba. Go. See. Laugh. Come back with your upped/downed thumb.
I didn’t pretend to be waiting for a friend. I sat down, pulled out my Sherman Alexie (if I’m waiting, I must be reading), and waited for the previews. I munched and sipped and laughed throughout the movie.
Nobody pointed. Nobody snickered. Nobody really noticed.
And I enjoyed myself.
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