Just Remember That I'll Always Love You

August was a rough month, one full of sorrow, as we faced the first anniversary of my father’s death and his birthday. But we made it through, and I think we’re finally on the other side of grief. I doubt that pain will ever go away, but at least I know I can now live with it.


On the very sad days, I remind myself that it hurts this much because I was deeply loved. Not many people were raised with the unconditional love he gave us, experienced the joy we gave him. I put that man through the ringer during my college years and twenties, and he never gave up on me. In fact, he left me brimming with self-confidence. And, thanks to him, I have yet to fall for a jerk.


OM’s birthday was Tuesday. Had he not passed away last August, he would have turned 72. The family would have gathered, possibly at a restaurant, but more likely at home, eating one of his favorite meals, showering him with shirts and books and the funniest cards we could find, laughing and teasing, telling the same silly stories, just being together. That was his idea of a celebration — surrounded by the wife and kids and grandkids he adored. Instead, those of us in town met for dinner at his favorite Mexican restaurant and toasted him with much-needed margaritas.


I wrote eulogy for him — telling you how he was a self-made man, how deeply in love he was with his family and Coca-Cola and University of Georgia football, how he lived to laugh and travel and read — but it was too painful to publish. So, what do I do when words fail me? I turn to music.


There’s a song in About a Boy — Badly Drawn Boy’s “A Minor Incident” — played during Toni Collette’s suicide attempt. It’s a heartbreaker, from a parent about to leave her child alone through her death. I listened to this song over and over during the final weeks of OM’s illness and after his death. It still tears me up, and it’s a rare day when I can listen to it and not cry. But the lyrics, the acoustic guitar, the sad harmonica are beautiful, so I’m sharing it here.


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