04 May 2006

Nearly blind with jealousy

My eye doctor informed me last week that I’m not a candidate for LASIK eye surgery because I’m too darn farsighted. (To quote my eye doctor during my first visit with him: “Damn, you can’t see anything without glasses, can you?”) So, my life will remain encumbered with a contact case, eye drops and a pair of glasses, wherever I go.

To add salt to the eye-pride wound: My favorite man in D.C., French, had LASIK surgery on Tuesday. His eyes are about as bad as mine, but he’s nearsighted. French gave me the gory, step-by-step surgical details last night (hearing about the smell of a burning eyeball burning was a bit much, yet pretty cool); he’d probably love to tell you, too, if you’re interested.

That’s the handsome, 20/20 devil to the right, at Monticello in July 2004. A little before I took this photo, he shot that lovely picture of me at the top of the page.

Happy healing, French! Hope you’re reading the phone book by the weekend.

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At 5/05/2006 11:16:00 AM, Anonymous Sara said...

What a hottie!

At 5/05/2006 11:29:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

Yes, he is. And he's single! And smart. And funny. And he pays me a lot to pimp him out.

At 5/05/2006 09:49:00 PM, Blogger Jeremy said...

Di dyou ever see th episode of The Simpsons where Homer has Lasik? He wqalks out wihtout getting the healing cream and his cake up like donuts. I could totally see either you or me pulling that one.

But, I just got new glasses yesterday, so I'm not going for Lasik anytime soon, if ever. Probably never.

At 5/07/2006 11:52:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

The "Simpsons" episode that I remember is the one that jumps into the future and Lisa's president. Flanders walks around with empty eye sockets, because they found that, 20 years later, LASIK melts eyeballs. That kept me away from considering the surgery for a couple of years because, yes, I do take medical advice from cartoons.

At 5/07/2006 01:20:00 PM, Anonymous jenny said...

Great gams on the boy.

At 8/10/2006 06:30:00 PM, Blogger thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Oddly enough, I've had the same prognosis... from three different optometrists: "I'm sorry, we just don't recommend it for people as far-sighted as you..."

And you'd think it'd be for people just like us. For once, I'd like to wake up and actually know what my alarm clock says before I hunt around for my glasses...

At 8/10/2006 06:32:00 PM, Blogger thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Oh, wait a minute. I'm near sighted. They said I'm too near-sighted to have the surgery. Now I want to know French's former prescription. Have my doctors been lying to me all these years?


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