31 July 2007

Dale Pitches My Life

We’re back with episode two of Passions: Dale Questions Beth.

If the story of your life were to be filmed and you had a hand in picking the title of the film and the actor who would be playing you, what would your choices be?

Interesting question, Dale, one I’ve never been asked. I tossed and turned all night, trying to name my life in five words or less and mentally auditioning a wide range of actresses.

The Pitch: Funny, semi-ditzy, adventurous fortysomething woman chooses the single life over marriage, giving her the freedom to obsess over music, concerts, books, travel, friends … and men.

Yeah, that’s gonna draw a huge box office. Maybe I need to start dating a young wizard.

The movie title: Sex and the Southern City. My life could be an interesting spin on the iconic HBO series. There are similarities. Carrie wrote a column; I write a blog (and I write for a living). We’ve both had our share of “interesting” dating debacles. Our friends are our greatest loves. Move it up a decade and down nine hundred miles, and you have my life. Ah, the absurdities that will be captured on celluloid! The Zevon kiss. The weirdos and the wows. The R.E.M. soundtrack.

Who will play my Carrie Bradshaw-esque self, you ask? I’m tapping Julia Louis-Dreyfus. She’d nail the funny and obsessive, and she's comfortable around male buddies. Plus, my dad loved her.

If we were closer in age, I would pick Diane Keaton. I love her naturally screwball, fun self, her obvious lust for life, her laugh, living life her way without giving a damn what others think. And her style! I’m always mesmerized by her wardrobe. I just watched the don’t-waste-your-time Because I Said So simply to check out her wardrobe; I’m still drooling over those ropes and ropes of pearls.

Fingers crossed that Richard Curtis will direct.

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At 8/01/2007 12:16:00 AM, Blogger jin said...

Dale is great with the questions, isn't he?!

(I think you may have upstaged him with that answer though...but don't tell him I said that! ;-)

At 8/01/2007 07:57:00 AM, Blogger Dale said...

I'm continually upstaged Jin but I'm okay with that.

Julia is an amazing choice Beth and one I didn't see coming. I'm sure Richard Curtis would do you proud and I'd go see it more than once, get the dvd for the bonus feature of you talking about what it was like to have a film made of your life, what they got right / wrong.

I eagerly await your next installment.

At 8/01/2007 09:11:00 AM, Blogger haahnster said...

Cue the Jerry Seinfeld voice-over: Lainey!!!

My b**tleg copy of the DVD would carry the title Confessions of a Tree-Head. Of course, only I would have any idea why.

At 8/01/2007 11:33:00 AM, Blogger Chris said...

Beth, don't forget to invite us all to the premiere.

At 8/01/2007 11:59:00 AM, Blogger Artful Dodger said...

Most intersting question. Hmmmm...I wonder if your movie would be narrated? Just make sure it doesn't start by saying "A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...", cause that's how I would start a movie about me. ^_^

At 8/01/2007 12:09:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

JIN: Dale is damn good with the questions; I've considered hiring him as a cub reporter.

DALE: I had another actress in mind, but caught a bit of a "Seinfeld" episode and immediately knew who could capture my essence. I guess I need you in the bonus clips since the movie was your idea; I'll have them film us at the Monkey Bar.

HAAHNSTER: Even better: Jerry V/O of "Treeeehead!"

CHRIS: Y'all will have your own section — the fun section!

ARTFUL DODGER: Maybe I should Carrie the V/O. Except that I talk too fast. And drawl.


At 8/01/2007 02:53:00 PM, Blogger BeckEye said...

Funny, I've heard from a few people that I remind them of Elaine on Seinfeld. Our common threads grow in number.

I certainly don't have her awesome hair though. I wish.

And I think we could all benefit from dating a young wizard. And I ain't talkin' 'bout a wizard at card tricks if you catch my drift.

At 8/01/2007 04:57:00 PM, Blogger Barbara Bruederlin said...

I'd pay my 12 bucks to see that film! And JuLouDrey would do you proud, I am sure. When in doubt, always go with a funny woman with curly hair.

At 8/01/2007 09:51:00 PM, Blogger Allison said...

These are great questions, and I would definitely pay to see this film. Which is big for me, considering I always download movies :)

At 8/01/2007 11:51:00 PM, Blogger Bubs said...


What drink will your show popularize (like Sex In the City did with the Cosmopolitan)?

By the way, my word verification is "jugles"

At 8/02/2007 03:49:00 AM, Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Richard Curtis? I'm there and the film's about one of my favorite subjects ; )

"Sex and the Southern City"

Much better than what I was going to come with, "Gone With The Squirrels."

At 8/02/2007 11:24:00 AM, Blogger anandamide said...

I'm glad you didn't pick Judge Reihold, cuz that's who I'm getting to play me....

At 8/02/2007 08:02:00 PM, Blogger Evil Genius said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 8/02/2007 08:03:00 PM, Blogger Evil Genius said...

man, you know how to milk a post! I wish I would have thought of this.

At 8/02/2007 09:18:00 PM, Anonymous gifted typist said...

Ah, Diane Keaton. If only we had a Diane Keaton today.

At 8/03/2007 03:43:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

BECKEYE: With our Elaine-ness, our hair-pullin' fight over Glenn Tilbrook will be nothing short of hawt. And, girl, I so caught your drift ...

BARBARA: That's what I've been tellin' 'em for years. Don't they know by now that our curls are our power?

ALLISON: I'll tell Mr. Curtis to be sure to make it worth those full-price bucks.

BUBS: Very good question, sir. In the summer, I love nothing better than freshly squeezed lemonade from Chik-Fil-A, the cup half-filled with citron vodka. Think it will catch on in the bars? (I think I'm gonna start calling you "Jugles"! Love the new avatar, BTW.)

At 8/03/2007 03:45:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

WRITE PROCRASTINATOR: You're there? Hell, babe, I'm gonna stomp these 7.5s until they agree to hire you as the screenwriter.

ANANDAMIDE: I've always thought Mr. Reinhold was quite cute. Will Judge Reinhold play you as a judge (a la "Arrested Development")?

EVIL GENIUS: You'd think an evil genius would know how to milk any system.

GIFTED TYPIST: We need one, don't we? Maybe one of the lollipop sticks will emerge with some Keatonesque style.

At 8/03/2007 07:18:00 PM, Blogger Chancelucky said...

I just don't understand what's happened to Diane Keaton. AS someone who doesn't pay much attention to wardrobe in movies, I found Because I Said So almost painful to watch. When did Keaton start playing annoying overbearing mothers who are secretly horny? My wife and I kept saying, "Can't they just shoot her?" and wasn't this the same character as the one with the daughter who died in the car accident and who kept her journal in Japanese.

At 11/20/2009 09:51:00 AM, Blogger shin said...



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