19 May 2008

The Belittling of the Little America Tour

Remember the excitement over my Little America Tour announcement, soon followed by God mocking and taunting me? Well, once again The Big Guy wins.

The Little America Tour has been whittled and belittled to two shows: Raleigh and Atlanta. No DC or NYC, Boston or Phillie. No visits with my beloveds … no meetups with beloved bloggers … not nearly enough nights dancing to my dearly beloveds.

Frickin’ sucks, doesn’t it? The reasons are many, but only a few are shared:

The car is still teasing me with a Check Engine light that blinks on and off like Rudolph’s nose.

Financial unexpecteds have drained the pennies my mechanic left in my savings account.

I forgot my parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary falls during that first week, and I want to spend that evening with my mom.

But I’ll get to see my favorite boys with Favorite Boy. And I’ll be dancing my ample a** off in the Atlanta pit.

Still … I’m cuing up “Everybody Hurts,” throwing myself on the bed like Lana Turner in a Douglas Sirk flick, and sobbing like a little girl.

* * * * * *

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30 Comments:

At 5/19/2008 10:45:00 PM, Blogger Eebie said...

I got firsts! Yeah me!!!

We are still looking forward to ya in NYC! Leave the car, you won't need it when you get here!

Martin

 
At 5/19/2008 11:08:00 PM, Anonymous Renae said...

You could be dancing madly like the sister in Sirk's "Written on the Wind" but that turned out to be lethal so maybe not. But it certainly counts for the dramatic and everyone has really cool cars that don't seem to break down and loads of money. But then they are in Texas--do you really want to go to Texas? Me neither. We'll miss you here. (That's me and Molly.)

 
At 5/19/2008 11:49:00 PM, Blogger Ginormous Boobs said...

That does suck!

 
At 5/20/2008 12:01:00 AM, Blogger Barbara Bruederlin said...

Even a belittled REM tour will embiggen you. Sorry to hear you have to cut it short, but do try to squeeze every drop of bliss out of the shows you do make.

 
At 5/20/2008 09:05:00 AM, Blogger Dale said...

Just don't stab anyone Lana! That sucks Beth but I'm glad you till get to see them thar!

 
At 5/20/2008 10:16:00 AM, Blogger BeckEye said...

Booo! Hisss!!

 
At 5/20/2008 12:19:00 PM, Blogger Keith Kennedy said...

Best laid plans of mice and (wo)men.....

Oh well, there's always the U2 tour coming up!

 
At 5/20/2008 02:02:00 PM, Blogger Mathdude said...

I don't know how you can call yourself a serious fan if you're not willing to jeopardize your job and your financial future to follow the band around. Real life sucks, doesn't it?

 
At 5/20/2008 04:32:00 PM, Anonymous m said...

how do you expect us to live vicarious through your adventures if you are just going to sit home?

i want my money back.

 
At 5/21/2008 12:35:00 AM, Blogger Moxie said...

I say save your $$ and meet me in New Orleans for the Voodoo Experience show! It's on the East Coast, AND it's got REM! And hurricanes to sip, and beignets to munch, and...and...

(starts hyperventilating from the excitement, then calms down)

Yeah. New Orleans, lady, let's make it happen.

 
At 5/21/2008 09:29:00 AM, Blogger Bluez said...

This is what this economy has come to. Pay bills and give up fun. Gas is 4 bucks a gallon, it would have cost you big to make that drive here to Philly anyway. sorry for your loss. :-(

 
At 5/21/2008 10:10:00 AM, Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

What, we aren't all gonna hang out?

"But I’ll get to see my favorite boys with Favorite Boy. And I’ll be dancing my ample a** off in the Atlanta pit."

Sure, you do all that when I'm not there.

 
At 5/21/2008 10:44:00 AM, Blogger Erik Donald France said...

I'm familiar with the first two reasons ;->

Hey, at least you get to spend time in Tar Heel Land. David Sedaris country, too.

 
At 5/21/2008 12:28:00 PM, Anonymous m said...

hmm...new orleans is now on the east coast? i didn't realize it moved. i gotta get a new compass.

 
At 5/21/2008 03:04:00 PM, Blogger dguzman said...

It's your cry and you'll party if you want to.

 
At 5/21/2008 05:09:00 PM, Blogger Pagan Sphinx said...

Well, Beth, at least I don't have to feel such jealousy now. ;-)

Seriously, I'm sorry your plans for the tour have thwarted. Make sure that in your crying your nose doesn't get red like the warning light in your car...

 
At 5/21/2008 07:31:00 PM, Blogger pistols at dawn said...

Sorry to hear it, miss. I'll tip my cap to your scaled-back dreams by not leaving the house for a week.

 
At 5/21/2008 11:09:00 PM, Blogger chelene said...

I'm bummed you're not coming!

 
At 5/21/2008 11:21:00 PM, Blogger thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

I'm sorry you won't make it to all, but hope you have a great time at the two you do.

 
At 5/22/2008 08:16:00 AM, Anonymous HollyC said...

Bummer Beth. My VW check engine light flickers too, but mostly it stays on. Then it says "emissions workshop!!" (those are it's exclamation marks)
But hey, TWO shows is better than ONE right?

 
At 5/22/2008 03:36:00 PM, Blogger Red said...

Major bummer! It would have been great to meet you. Enjoy your beloveds when you _do_ see them. When I see them, I'll think of you.

 
At 5/23/2008 12:37:00 AM, Blogger jasonfred said...

Blasted! Foiled again! Two shows are better than none, but in a show of solidarity I'll be playing "Everybody Hurts" on a continuous loop for the remainder of the evening.

 
At 5/23/2008 02:08:00 PM, Blogger Tony Alva said...

Sorry to hear that your plans were scuttled. With that, I will tell you that I'm flying to NYC to see Iron Maiden at Madison Square Garden. Floor seats baby!

Jealous?

 
At 5/24/2008 10:11:00 AM, Blogger Grant Miller said...

Still sounds like a blast!

 
At 5/25/2008 12:26:00 AM, Blogger BeckEye said...

It's Saturday and there is still no Friday mix tape. I'm going to celebrate the Brooklyn Bridge's birthday and then jump off of it.

 
At 5/26/2008 10:05:00 AM, Blogger WDCD/DRFS/aka Sue said...

hang in there Coffey...I'll drink a beer in your honor in DC

 
At 5/26/2008 05:07:00 PM, Blogger Gifted Typist said...

hmmm, Beth, you and I are on the same downward vibe here.

I told you about the foiled NYC trip - the cat had it's fangs out and it broke me.

This wk/end I was off to Chicago with a friend until my sig oth had a biz trip that could not be got out of.

Boo hiss does not say it the way I need it to be said.

 
At 5/27/2008 01:42:00 PM, Anonymous filegod1 said...

Call traffic at the national suicide hot-line is way up since Friday. For the good of the nation, I hope we get a mix tape this week. Hope your memorial day weekend was memorable.

 
At 5/31/2008 07:15:00 PM, Blogger Jewgirl said...

Oh Bethykins, I am so sorry.

1) I say you throw up a ChipIn widget.
2) Love your sense of drama re: the last point. I am the same way.
3) You're a great daughter, an amazing daughter!
4) Happy you'll be dancing your ass off w/the beloved.

 
At 6/02/2008 02:58:00 PM, Blogger Coaster Punchman said...

Agreed with Eebs - just make it up here and you won't need food (PG will provide that); transporation (a 7-day subway pass is super cheap); and lodging (Mama Gin has plenty of spare room!

 

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