12 August 2006

Fire and Rain Ramblings

We’re having a grand thunderstorm right now in Atlanta, one that’s washing away the 90-degree days. Soothes my soul to cut off the A/C, open the windows, enjoy a breeze and outdoor sounds as they flutter through my living room.

The cats and I are on the porch during the day for the first time in a month, listening to the rain, and Wilco and Lucinda and Neko, and Stipe and Badly Drawn Boy and Jeff Buckley. It’s soothing to watch the green get greener, to smell the cleansing rain, to feel the occasional spray on my rail-propped feet.

I love thunderstorms. The crack and power of thunder and lightning. The sound of rain impatiently bursting through the clouds as fast and hard as it can. I find peace in all that madness. I sometimes wonder if I’m meant to live in the Pacific Northwest. But do they get wonderfully violent thunderstorms? I need some passion with my drizzle.

I’m having a bit of an internal crisis these days. Longheld beliefs being shaken, what was is no more. I feel as if I’m about to wash away the old me and evolve into another of my selves. Eager and anxious, at once. And I’m an impatient soul, so this leaves me restless, thundering inside, wanting to walk away from everything. I know I must be patient and let the evolution take its course. But I’m ready to embrace this new self. It’s thrilling to start over at this age. And it’s time. As Wilco now sings to me, Nothing'severgonnastandinmyway(again).

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At 8/12/2006 02:54:00 PM, Blogger barista brat said...

the summer thunderstorms and the lush greenery are the only things i really miss about the south.

oh - those and grits.

i completely understand what you mean about a personal evolution being both exciting and frightening. i think most the time people will fight the change and try and stifle the feelings, but that just leaves them frustrated and underdeveloped.

i look forward to reading more of your evolution.

At 8/12/2006 03:36:00 PM, Blogger Peter said...

I'm totally with you on turning off the A/C. I miss the thunderstorms in the south too--but not the hail storms. They were scary. I miss porches and balconies in the south.

Good Luck with everything, Beth

At 8/12/2006 03:38:00 PM, Anonymous JUDITH said...

Whatever you become, don't lose the real "Beth" in the transformation! Please don't let chosen words and carefully formed sentences, creating idealistic paragraphs, cover your real style! I, for one, would miss the real Beth! You hang in there, Lizabeth Grace! Desiderata, DESIDERATA!

At 8/12/2006 04:18:00 PM, Blogger haahnster said...

"Fire and Rain" = too James-Talyor-ish for me...

But, I agree that thunderstorms are COOL!

PS - There's a "real Beth" that doesn't carefully choose her words, sentences and paragraphs???!! Hmmmmmm...

At 8/12/2006 04:46:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

BRAT: How can your soul be happy without Southern thunderstorms or grits?

PETER: Thanks. As much as I would love to live in Manhattan, I would have to leave behind my world on a porch.

JUDITH: Do not worry about my transformation. If anything, the words are becoming more free, less carefully formed, more me. I think OM is helping my true style come to life.

HAAHNSTER: Frightening, isn't it -- both a James Taylor reference (hey, I like that song) AND a more real Beth.

At 8/13/2006 09:10:00 AM, Blogger Ben said...

Great pictures Beth.

I love how everything seems so fresh after a Rainstorm, especially the smells.

At 8/13/2006 11:04:00 AM, Anonymous HollyC said...

great descriptives Beth, I could smell the rain while reading the page....as far as the mellow look ahead to change, was wine involved?
Not that that's a bad thing mind you..

At 8/13/2006 12:06:00 PM, Blogger Dale said...

I'm so with you on the rain and everyone else on their enjoyment of your writing. Your rail propped feet, passion with your drizzle, very nice.

At 8/13/2006 03:05:00 PM, Blogger Marni said...

Our AC actually quit working this weekend so we have been enjoying the cooler weather via open windows. I love a good *soaking* rain that lasts for hours; the kind where you can see the flowers and grass drinking it in.

At 8/13/2006 07:12:00 PM, Blogger Old Lady said...

Can't wait to turn off the AC. Love the thunder storms. Enjoy them immensly, wish a had a porch to sit on. Soon.

At 8/13/2006 07:59:00 PM, Anonymous Glassmeow said...

We don't get thunderstorms very often in the Pacific Northwest. Only over the mountains. We've had 1 and 1/2 thunderstorms in Portland all summer. And one (the one half) was just the lightshow from the one over the foothills of the Cascades. No noise. No rain.

If we get them at all, it's usually in the Spring.

At 8/14/2006 07:48:00 AM, Blogger gizmorox said...

Southern thunderstorms really are something else. The gods they get damn angry. I am sad not to have a porch to watch them from, and I love how your kittens perch on yours. Are they not frightened by the storm? My cat spent the whole day under the bed. Wimp.


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