25 June 2007

Talk About the Passion

Cup fave Write Procrastinator has once again ring-around-the-rosied me, tagged me yet again. (Methinks he thinks this is the virtual playground. Next thing you know, he’ll be pulling my e-pigtails.)

The Meme: What’s the dumbest question you’ve ever been asked? Why was it dumb? What's the answer?

Really, the dumbest question I’ve been asked during my adult years was when my gender was questioned … but I’ve already told that story. You deserve something fresh, something new, so I’m going with the most recent dumbest-evah question.

Back in the spring, I met an interesting guy via an online dating site. We had things in common: same age … he’d lived in Atlanta all his adult life … we enjoy music and movies and barbecue and beer. We spent a couple of weeks e-bantering and e-flirting like Frank Capra was directing us, so I agreed to a meet-up.

We met. We exchanged proverbial pleasantries. And then, not five minutes into the meet-up, he asked the question that was the nail in his datable coffin:

So tell me about this R.E.M. Where are they from?

Ahem.

Do I need to answer questions two and three? He’d read my blog. He saw my raison d'etre, over there under my photo. He had two weeks to bone up. And yet … although he’s in our age group (“our” being Berry/Buck/Coffey/Mills/Stipe) … although he’s lived in Georgia since they played the church gig that April evening in 1980 ... although he has an FM radio … He. Didn’t. Know. Do you really expect me to have a second date with someone who needs me to explain, not talk, about my passion?


Would it be petty of me to also mention that he said he was 5’10” … but he was actually 5’7”? C’mon, boys; we’re gonna notice those missing three inches. And, yes, every woman on a dating site does weigh 125.

Okay, so maybe that’s a shallow reason to flick off a boy. But, c’mon; he’d be miserable with all the talks about my passion. The Longtime loved R.E.M., yet even he got sick of hearing which albums Peter guested on, or what Michael’s really singing, or how much Mike loves the Braves, or how Bill’s dream of music boxes inspired the beauty of that brilliant “Get Up” break. Consider him saved.

Now, I don't expect everyone in my universe to be well-versed in all things R.E.M. But if you want me to kiss you, you gotta know where it all began (Athens, just 75 miles down the road) and own at least five R.E.M. CDs (greatest hits discs don't count).

And if you need the answer to the answer … click the R.E.M. label. You’ll get an idea.


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38 Comments:

At 6/25/2007 11:49:00 PM, Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Maybe he's from the past or maybe he's been living in a bomb shelter since 1980 and...
















...wow, he isn't even plausible with movie logic.

 
At 6/26/2007 12:06:00 AM, Blogger blog Portland said...

That's the good thing about being freakishly tall. Nobody ever gives you crap for it. Except, of course, the people who are all "Wow, you're freakishly tall."

 
At 6/26/2007 04:00:00 AM, Blogger Mountjoy said...

And I'm betting he was probably 3" shy of his stats somewhere else, too...

 
At 6/26/2007 06:44:00 AM, Anonymous HollyC said...

maybe he KNEW about R.E.M., he just was a little nervous and figured he'd ask and let you do the talking? Can't help with the height thing though..

 
At 6/26/2007 09:38:00 AM, Blogger Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

Yeah, the height lie is the better reason to blow the guy off. As for the REM, I don't blame you if that's your passion in life. But, assuming you're likely in your late 30s/early 40s (based on your description), I think it's understandable that not everyone knows too much about REM -- I mean, aside from their major hits, of course. As they say... As we get older, we tend to specialize -- to learn more and more about less and less. In your case, you've honed in on REM for many years. That guy could simply be deeply interested in something else. Of course, he wouldn't be a great match for you because fo that...

 
At 6/26/2007 10:34:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

WRITE PROCRASTINATOR: Not for the Cupworld, he isn't.

BLOG PORTLAND: I love freakishly tall. Do you smush the wee folks when they call you "freakishly tall"? I think you should.

MOUNTJOY: I wouldn't doubt it in the least. And that would be a Un-Mountjoy-able discovery, wouldn't it?

HOLLYC: Nope. He was completely clueless. He was surprised to find out they were from Georgia. He'd "kind of heard that 'End of the World' song" ...

BLOWING UP SHIT WITH GAS: You're my favorite blogger today with that age guess. I'm 48, and I tend to date fellas in that age group. We're OF that music age group, so he had no excuse.

 
At 6/26/2007 02:37:00 PM, Blogger Keith Kennedy said...

I hate to agree with you - you know, us boys don't live in the same universe as you girls.....

But I could never ever pair up with someone that didn't know about REM and their majesty.

I mean, REM is not only elemental - they are NECESSARY to soothe the soul and make the heart understand why it beats.

So please don't beat yourself up over that.

Besides, the 5'7" thing is way more than enough to terminate thoughts of a second rendezvous.

But be of good cheer because there are boys out there that love REM and I'm sure that one is just a few barstools down from you.

 
At 6/26/2007 03:59:00 PM, Blogger mellowlee said...

ay yi yi yi yi! The dumbass could have at least done his homework from your blog for crying out loud!

 
At 6/26/2007 05:15:00 PM, Blogger Dan said...

The dumbest question I've ever been asked was ... "what is the dumbest question you've ever been asked".

 
At 6/26/2007 08:35:00 PM, Blogger Dale said...

That tops the list of dumb ass questions! No excuse, no regret.

 
At 6/26/2007 09:39:00 PM, Blogger Jeremy said...

Agreed. If he lied about his height, he's sure to lie about something else. Before long, you'll find the skeletons in his closet (and they might even be real!).

And I've got a great Dumbest Question: I rolled the Zaxby's drive thru not long ago and ordered a Chicken Caesar Zalad. The question? "What type of dressing do you want on your zalad?"

I actually paused. Then, with an "are you serious" tone in my voice I answered, "Ummmmmmmmmmmmm . . . Caesar?"

 
At 6/26/2007 10:02:00 PM, Blogger BeckEye said...

I understand. I'll immediately dismiss a guy if he insults Pearl Jam. The guy doesn't necessarily have to LIKE them, he just has to be smart enough to realize that they are gods to me and if he has nothing nice to say, it's best to just keep his trap shut.

When it comes to R.E.M. I only own one CD and that's Eponymous, so I guess we'll never share a lesbian kiss. It's not because I don't like them, just that when I was still living at home my brother had most of their stuff and I just always borrowed his records. I pretty much liked everything up until Automatic for the People. Then I didn't like them until Around the Sun came out, because "Leaving New York" is a great, great song.

 
At 6/26/2007 10:28:00 PM, Blogger bigshoulders said...

Hiya Beth,

I must agree with you here. musical compatibility with your significant other is important, nay, E-ssential. Period. I don't see myself dating for a while, but when I do get back on that proverbial horse, she'll know who Wilco, R.E.M., Tom Waits, Dylan, _________ is, or at the very least be open to musical discovery. Preferably the former, but I'm not that picky. ;)

I'm not so close-minded as to shut myself off from her tastes, and preferences either. Far from it. I look forward to musical "together-ness" and discovering "new" music together... but starting from a common point is super important.

Tell me about this R.E.M.?!
Check, please!

cheers,
b.s.

 
At 6/26/2007 11:07:00 PM, Blogger chelene said...

Men lie so often about their height online that I've started automatically deducting three inches from whatever they claim to be! :)

 
At 6/26/2007 11:17:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

KEITH: I think his not knowing about R.E.M. showed what a huge generation gap we had, even though he was just a year older. We were coming from two different places. And I can't date anyone who will be drawfed by me and my three-inch wedge sandals.

MELLOWLEE: I know! There was a lovely man who captured my heart the first three months of this year. The day we met, he logged onto iTunes and downloaded every R.E.M. album he didn't have. THAT'S the way to date.

DAN: I think you're trying to avoid asking who R.E.M. is ...

DALE: And no nookie for him!

 
At 6/26/2007 11:22:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

JEREMY: Zaxby dumbazzes. You know, we could probably come up with 812 dumbest questions ever from our Bookstar days.

BECKEYE: Dammit; I've been dreaming of that lesbian kiss all week, girl. If I send you a copy of New Adventures and you like it, just maybe ...

BIG SHOULDERS: Hiya, B.S.! That deep love of music we have can't be ignored, can it? Have you read Love Is a Mix Tape? It's about a couple who click on every music level. It will break your heart. (And I'm shocked to learn you're not single!)

CHELENE: I'm beginning not to trust those who claim to be six feet tall.

 
At 6/27/2007 12:46:00 AM, Blogger jewgirl said...

what a schmuck. I mean SCHMUCK.

 
At 6/27/2007 10:25:00 AM, Blogger bigshoulders said...

quoting beth:Have you read Love Is a Mix Tape? It's about a couple who click on every music level. It will break your heart. (And I'm shocked to learn you're not single!)

No..., but the title of said book is intriguing. I should pick that up!
Yes, I'm single again (cue that Fiery Furnaces track, stat!) after almost 1 1/2 years... but that's okay... I will survive...

B.S.

 
At 6/27/2007 10:35:00 AM, Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Chelene,

No, it's not necessarily height that we lay unfounded claims about inches...

Beth,

I know you just answered one, so you never saw the follow-up meme coming.

 
At 6/27/2007 10:39:00 AM, Blogger Barbara Bruederlin said...

Achhh, it was obviously not meant to be. It's probably best that he asked that fateful question within five minutes instead of after you had been married for a year or something.

 
At 6/27/2007 02:22:00 PM, Blogger Moxie said...

Okay, confession time: I'm not a big REM fan and don't own any of their albums. I do have a MP3 of "It's the End of the World As We Know It", though. Beth, please don't ban me from your blog.

...but even I knew they are from Athens GA! (B-52s are also from there, right?) And I could pick REM's mainstream songs out of a musical line-up. Geezaloo.

Maybe he was in a coma for 20 years? Nah...that wouldn't work either.

 
At 6/27/2007 04:51:00 PM, Blogger Jeremy said...

By the way, I'm 6 feet tall.

 
At 6/27/2007 07:11:00 PM, Blogger Allison said...

Anyone after reading your blog who doesn't catch onto all things R.E.M does not deserve a second go, I agree.

I'm slowly learning more about R.E.M, I own the Green album. Good for starters like me!

 
At 6/27/2007 10:17:00 PM, Anonymous John said...

Speaking of not doing homework, at the 1995 R.E.M. gig in Huddersfield, UK. the crowd set up a chant of "Yorkshire! Yorkshire!" between songs.

"Are you saying Georgia?" asked The Great One.

Now, was he being coy or showing a serious lack of study?

However, don't think there's much chance your date was just being deadpan!

 
At 6/27/2007 10:45:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

JEWGIRL: Complete schmuck. And rather dull, actually.

BIG SHOULDERS: Ah, that makes me sad. You're too great a catch to stay alone long. Let me know if you read Love Is a Mix Tape.

WRITE PROCRASTINATOR: Another one? Next week, doll; I have two-point-five posts in the hopper.

BARBARA: Oh, he would have had to pass a pop quiz before the first date. I have precautions in place.

 
At 6/27/2007 10:48:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

MOXIE: I think he was in a suburban coma. And you'll never be banned; the five-CD rule is only for those who hope to kiss me. Or did you ...?

JEREMY: Reason #7 why I've always found you devastatingly cute.

ALLISON: "Turn You Inside-out" is one of THE sexiest songs. It's on my seduction playlist. I should send you a list of must-have tracks.

JOHN: The Great One was definitely joshing. He has a very dry wit. And the date wasn't deadpan ... he was deadpants!

 
At 6/28/2007 11:28:00 AM, Blogger Keith Kennedy said...

Hey, wait a minute - I'm 6'2" and I DO own every REM album/CD and have seen them many times.

I should at least get a lesbian kiss picture.

 
At 6/28/2007 01:02:00 PM, Blogger Artful Dodger said...

Ohhhh..I so love that book, "Love Is a Mix Tape". I've read it like 6 times since I bought it the day it came out. I always cry a little at the sad part. (sigh) How can one not now about the wonders and joy's of REM? I shudder at the thought. Yeah seems like a good thing it didn't work out. BTW hello from Santiago, Chile. I forgot it's winter down here right now. It's chilly had to buy a jacket. Later ^_^

 
At 6/28/2007 01:04:00 PM, Blogger Artful Dodger said...

Oh did I mention I'm 6'3. Is that tall?

 
At 6/28/2007 02:36:00 PM, Blogger BeckEye said...

Uh, I tagged you too...but mine's better because there's a compliment involved.

 
At 6/29/2007 10:02:00 AM, Anonymous m said...

is rem even still together?

 
At 6/29/2007 10:56:00 AM, Blogger blueblanket said...

The guy's obviously just not that bright. Wow! He deserves your pity if nothing else.

 
At 6/29/2007 01:45:00 PM, Blogger Grant Miller said...

When you're not talking about the passion, what are you talking about?

 
At 6/30/2007 10:56:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

KEITH: You just tittilated me with those words ... good thing for Paige The Dude is several states away. You're first on the list for a photo of that lesbian kiss.

ARTFUL DODTER: I read it thanks to your recommendation. Read it in one sitting, and laughed and cried and loved it. And, yes, 6'3" is beautifully tall. You're tittilating me, too, doll!

BECKEYE: I love compliments! I'm on my way over ...

M: Oh, clueless M; they're in Dublin right now, recording the new album and performing all weekend long. You really need to sign up for my e-newsletter: A Cup o' R.E.M.

BLUE BLANKET: I was too bored to pity.

GRANT MILLER: Those homeless folks I sleep with.

 
At 7/02/2007 12:42:00 PM, Blogger lulu said...

Do I get to make-out with you? REM was my fav fav favorite band for years, and I own pretty much everything. Wilco has since taken the number one spot, but REM is still a sentimental fave.

 
At 7/03/2007 06:40:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

Of course you get to make out with me! I'll make sure Scrivener's ready with the camera ...

 
At 7/03/2007 01:39:00 PM, Blogger lulu said...

OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo we can sell tickets!

 
At 7/04/2007 04:04:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

You could live like a queen in Bangladesh on all the green we'll rake in. Hell, we could live like queens here on what we'd earn!

 

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