27 February 2008

A Compliment?

Today I’m wearing a simple classic outfit: black turtleneck, brown/black print silk wraparound skirt, black boots with three-inch heels. (I’m well-baubled, too, but the jewels don’t play a part in this story.) I’m walking to grab lunch from the cafeteria when I see a woman I like at the other end of the hall. She starts laughing and waving madly. As she draws close, she says:

    “I don’t have on my glasses, but I could tell from that silhouette and that swing who you were.”

    “Really?”

    “Yep — those hips and that waist could be only yours.”

I got a salad.

* * * * * *

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29 Comments:

At 2/27/2008 02:07:00 PM, Blogger coffeypot said...

Of course you did slap her so hard her ears slammed together in front of her fact didn't you?

 
At 2/27/2008 02:20:00 PM, Blogger pistols at dawn said...

"my hips are more child-bearing than my mind" is the hottest tag a lady blogger's ever used.

 
At 2/27/2008 02:24:00 PM, Blogger Mathdude said...

Soooo, when are you due? Are you excited? Is this your first? Do you know yet if it's a boy or a girl?

 
At 2/27/2008 03:32:00 PM, Blogger SkylersDad said...

I think you should take it as a compliment! Women are supposed to have curves.

 
At 2/27/2008 05:29:00 PM, Anonymous filegod1 said...

Appropriate response: kick to the crotch

 
At 2/27/2008 07:00:00 PM, Blogger jewgirl said...

Are we sure she wasn't complimenting you?! If she was being a cunt, FUCK HER in the nose with impregnated black widow spiders. You are a sexy, fabulous, stunning dame, perfect the way you are. Adored and revered by many. Period. Period. PERIOD!

 
At 2/27/2008 07:23:00 PM, Anonymous Ms. Lemke said...

I know! Someone at work who's losing weight on Jenny Craig told me she would, uh, save her pants that are getting too big for her... for me... :) I was like ... oh, thank you!

 
At 2/27/2008 08:03:00 PM, Blogger BeckEye said...

If it was an insult, you should've said, "And that blurtacious lack of tact could only be yours."

But just assume that you is bootylicious, baby.

 
At 2/27/2008 10:15:00 PM, Blogger Tanya Espanya said...

Compliment.

Keep on swingin', sister.

 
At 2/27/2008 10:39:00 PM, Blogger Barbara Bruederlin said...

I am sure that she merely meant that you are luscious and voluptuous. What else could she have meant?

 
At 2/28/2008 12:35:00 AM, Blogger thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

I'd say it's a compliment. Means you have shape -- really big chicks generally don't have that going for them.

 
At 2/28/2008 03:25:00 AM, Blogger lulu said...

You're shaped like what you're shaped like. My best friend once identified me from a block away based on my calves. I could identify CP based on his walk, even if I couldn't see his face. one of my friends here knows when I am walking in the hall outside her classroom, and she and I have only known each other for 5 months, not years and years. If this woman knows you well, she probably didn't mean anything one way or another, it was just a statement of fact.

 
At 2/28/2008 08:01:00 AM, Anonymous HollyC said...

I think I know what she meant Beth, you do have nice curves, but you have a very happy energetic bounce to your walk, I think that's what she recognized. That would be the "silhouette and swing", the SWING is the THING (doo-wap doo-wap doo-wap)

 
At 2/28/2008 03:57:00 PM, Blogger Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

Well, I've never seen you, so I can't make a judgment. But, your writing is pretty "hip"!

 
At 2/28/2008 04:53:00 PM, Blogger Gifted Typist said...

Beth, someone recently told me I looked rested.

Rested! RESTED!!! Not hot, lovely, or pretty, just rested.

It was meant in the nicest of ways, but sometimes you have to wonder.
I'm sure it's the same with your friend.

 
At 2/28/2008 05:01:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

COFFEYPOT: Nah. I laughed. If you have curves, embrace them. Plenty of men seem to want to …

PISTOLS AT DAWN: The best lines are often in the labels.

MATHDUDE: No children have passed through these hips. From the inside out, at least; there have been childlike folks going in the reverse direction.

SKYLER’S DAD: Actually, it was a compliment. I didn’t include one line she said: You’re the only white chick here who works her hips like we do. I took that as a high compliment. I love my curves, even when they curve too much.

FILEGOD: Instead, I giggled and hugged.

 
At 2/28/2008 05:03:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

JEWGIRL: She complimented. It was just more bloggerific as I wrote it.

MS. LEMKE: Ouch! People are so insensitive sometimes.

BECKEYE: I is bootylicious, baby — as you’ll see for yourself in June!

TANYA ESPANYA: They swing wide, and they swing fine.

BARBARA BRUEDERLIN: Exactly!

 
At 2/28/2008 05:06:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

THIRD WORST POET: I definitely sport the Coke bottle shape.

LULU: She meant it as a compliment. I just found it to be so funny!

HOLLYC: I do doo-wap, don’t I?

BLOWING SHIT UP WITH GAS: Thank you, sir! That’s a true compliment.

GIFTED TYPIST: Sometimes when I get together with the Beloved Ex, he comments that I “look tired.” While he says it out of concern, it makes me feel old.

 
At 2/28/2008 06:55:00 PM, Blogger Mountjoy said...

You know Beth, "it don't mean a thing, if it ain't got that SWING!"

(and I expect your next mix tape to be "Songs For Swinging Lovers" - although you still haven't deliver us "High Infidelity" yet!)

 
At 2/28/2008 09:49:00 PM, Blogger mellowlee said...

Aw nuts to her. I bet you looked HAWT!

 
At 2/28/2008 10:18:00 PM, Blogger Gifted Typist said...

Another tune for Beth's Swing mixed tape:
Swing low sweet chariot.

 
At 2/28/2008 11:42:00 PM, Blogger Artful Dodger said...

I hope that was a compliment. But from the way you described your dress that day I bet you looked fabulous. If it wasn't a compliment, then remember the old Klingon proverb, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." J/K

 
At 2/29/2008 02:00:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Screw what that jealous ho said. I'll bet you looked great.

 
At 2/29/2008 08:03:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

MOUNTJOY: And baby, these hips have SWING. (I'm taking a break from love-centric mix tapes for now — but High Infidelity is on the list for this spring.)

MELLOWLEE: I did.

GIFTED TYPIST: Good one! I think I have some interesting versions in my MP3 collection.

ARTFUL DODGER: She meant it as a compliment. I just thought the incident was funny.

DR. MONKEY VON MONKERSTEIN: I did.

 
At 3/01/2008 01:58:00 PM, Blogger Bluez said...

At least you have an ass!

 
At 3/01/2008 04:24:00 PM, Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Yeah, I was gonna say nothing's wrong with your hips, but I see that she was trying compliment you. I would assume that it was a compliement, especially since cafeteria trays can hurt.

 
At 3/03/2008 02:31:00 PM, Blogger Chancelucky said...

I'd take it as a compliment then poison her coffee.

 
At 3/04/2008 09:15:00 AM, Blogger katrocket said...

That cute outfit sounds like it could elicit a bit of jealousy. Girls are always envious of swing. Good for you!

 
At 3/10/2008 12:28:00 AM, Blogger Coaster Punchman said...

I agree with your Gentle Readers who would totally take that as a compliment. Given the choice, always choose to believe all people think you're hot. It's fun!

 

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