10 July 2008

Cup's Getting Serious

Things with Favorite Boy are going relatively well. He lives a few states away, but I get to see him regularly. (Not as much as I’d like, of course. Damn fricking long-distance romances.) He’s funny, and kind, and smart, and naughty. We’re having a good time — I want to keep it that way — so I passed a rule that we cannot talk about Where This Is Going until at least the end of this month. I want to enjoy Phase One as long as I can. And, although I'm a girl, I really don't enjoy The Big Talks.

But Favorite Boy broke the rule, bringing up a serious relationship topic the other night, one that kept us talking into the wee hours of the morning.

The topic that broke the rule? Our Freebie Fives.

I love talking about my Freebie Fives. There’s something wonderful about fantasizing and objectifying men. Here’s the problem: Every time I think I’ve settled on those lucky five and head to the card-laminating shop, I think of someone else I wanna get all freebie with.

Help me, kids. Help me anoint the boys worth a throw-down.

Here’s my list so far:

1. Bruce Campbell

2. David Duchovny

3. open slot

4. open slot

5. open slot

Three open slots. And who’s in contention for the coveted three through five? These lovelies (listed alphabetically to avoid jealousies):

Anthony Bourdain
Peter Buck
Michael Chabon
George Clooney
Johnny Depp
Jeffrey Donovan
Colin Firth
Tom Glavine
Hugh Grant
Jon Hamm
John Krazinski
David Letterman
Ewan McGregor
Chris Noth
Keith Olbermann
Clive Owen
Paul Rudd
Nick Simmons

Convince me. Throw some pros and cons on these tasty male-morsels in the comment box.

Who made Favorite Boy’s Freebie Five list? He has three definites — Jennifer Aniston, Liz Phair, and Laura Linney — which make sense, since they look a lot like me.

And, yeah, I think I’m back. Some great stories to tell — including finally checking off one of my Before I Dies last weekend — so come back in the coming days.

Photo credit: The lovely and talented Str8jacket

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At 7/10/2008 05:37:00 PM, Blogger the lit slut said...

Oh my god, HUGH GRANT. Without doubt. There's just something about him- he's not typically attractive, but he's got that accent, and he's so damn charming, that he always seems insanely sexy.

And Anthony Bourdain, because you have to love a man that cooks.

At 7/10/2008 05:45:00 PM, Anonymous m said...

george clooney. 'nuff said.

At 7/10/2008 08:16:00 PM, Anonymous Favorite Boy said...

These are Favorite Boys suggestions.

Peter Buck, he could teach me to play guitar.
George Clooney, I would own him on the Basketball court.
David Letterman, If he and I were ever in one room, the smart-ass power generated could fuel the world.
Notice, it's all about me. Probably not a good sign.

At 7/10/2008 09:45:00 PM, Blogger Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

You guys get FIVE?!!! Is that, like, an Atlanta thing? My wife & I each have only ONE... I'm gonna have to have a talk w/ her.

Hers is Johnny Depp. Mine's Zooey Deschanel. I get all tingly just typing that name... (Zooey, not Johnny).

(Oh, and I'm fairly certain you'd get a disease from Hugh Grant.)

At 7/10/2008 10:23:00 PM, Blogger kfluff said...

Anthony Bourdain can indeed cook, but he seems like kind of a jerk. Which I guess might be cool, for a night, as a freebie, but could also go terribly terribly wrong. I gotta throw down for Michael Chabon. He's beautiful, he's smart, he's self-deprecating, and he clearly loves the strong women.

At 7/10/2008 11:36:00 PM, Blogger Mix Tape Girl said...

Silly boys. Don't you hate it when they go and complicate things. Anyways, I'd go with Peter Buck for sure, because you just have to. George Clooney, mmmmm...what a man. And I don't know why but Keith Olbermann has just got that thing.

At 7/11/2008 12:30:00 AM, Blogger mellowlee said...

Holy jebuz, I thought you would never come back *HUGZ!*

At 7/11/2008 12:32:00 AM, Blogger mellowlee said...

Oh yes...and I would chose Johnny Depp and George Clooney, cause they're stampalicious

At 7/11/2008 10:38:00 AM, Blogger Barbara Bruederlin said...

You know that things are getting Serious when you have the Freebie Five talk.

And what a tough decision to make. Are you sure you can't just change it to a Freebie Sixteen?

Okay, off the top of my head, I would say Anthony Bourdain, because after what he's eaten, he would never complain about my cooking, Colin Firth, who brings out the romantic in me, and possibly John Krazinski, for the funny faces he makes.

So glad to have you back in the ether. Now stop having a real life, and cater to our needs.

At 7/11/2008 11:19:00 AM, Blogger Allison said...

I love the picture. :)

I'd have to go with Colin Firth. Having just rewatched Bridget Jones and Love, Actually.

At 7/11/2008 11:50:00 AM, Blogger SkylersDad said...

I can't comment on who to add to the list other than I don't even know half of them. Am I a loser or what?

At 7/11/2008 01:25:00 PM, Blogger lulu said...

Several of those men are already waiting on an island for me, so that might be a problem.

At 7/11/2008 03:53:00 PM, Blogger dguzman said...

I preface my choices by stating that I'm gay. However, if I were you, I'd hit Clooney and Rudd. Then I'd add the yummy Clive Owen.

Now--to Fave Boy's list--not too terrible, though I'd give Aniston the boot for the waifish but tormented Winona Ryder.

At 7/11/2008 04:04:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

THE LIT SLUT: My sister reads the Brit tabloids, which all scream that Hugh’s a drunk. Sad. Maybe I can give him a reason to stay sober. And welcome!

M: He’s usually on the list. Ah, the lovely times we’ve shared in my dreamworld …

FAVORITE BOY: I didn’t realize you’d get to hang out with my lovers …

BLOWING SHIT UP WITH GAS: It’s hot and steamy down south; we need outlets, BSUWG. I’m going to see your beloved Zooey in a couple of weeks when She & Him hits town; c’mon down.

At 7/11/2008 04:08:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

KFLUFF: These boys are one-night-onlies, so hopefully I won’t have to deal with Anthony’s jerkiness … well, in his personality. Chabon is quite swoony, isn’t he?

MIX TAPE GIRL: Very strong candidates, MTG. I have this theory that guitarists really know how to strum a girl’s strings …

MELLOWLEE: Thanks, doll! My only fear about My Night With Johnny Depp is I wouldn’t quit giggling and touching his lovely face.

BARBARA BRUEDERLIN: I promise to focus on you and your e-needs, Ms. B, because you picked three damn fine gentlemen.

At 7/11/2008 04:10:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

ALLISON: My dear friend Str8jacket took that shot. When I saw it on his Flickr page, I demanded it. Colin Firth makes me swoon at Bridget’s birthday dinner … the way he looks at her, with “Dreamsome” playing in the background … well, I get all squishy

SKYLER’S DAD: Not a loser at all. But a sad, gray life if you haven’t spent time ogling these beauties.

LULU: Let’s treat them like the sweet meat they are and trade ‘em like baseball cards.

DGUZMAN: You know, I was thinking on my drive to work today that I stupidly forgot to include Clive Owen. He’s all man.

At 7/11/2008 05:15:00 PM, Blogger Tony Alva said...

How did Lemmy Kilmister not make your list?

At 7/11/2008 05:49:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

It's about time you got back. I nearly sent out the hounds looking for you.

At 7/11/2008 06:45:00 PM, Blogger DaBich said...

3 MUSTS: George Clooney, Johnny Depp, and Hugh Grant!

Gawd, now you got ME going! ;)

At 7/11/2008 07:30:00 PM, Anonymous HollyC said...

Good to find you home today Beth!
One question, do we have to have a conversation with these contestants? That would narrow things down for me...
Guess Paul Newman really is too old by now....

At 7/11/2008 09:32:00 PM, Blogger haahnster said...

#6. Haahnster

Oh, and by the way, Neil Young and his band (Rick Rosas, Chad Cromwell and Ben Keith) have been closing their recent Euro shows with the most killer, feedback-laced "A Day In The Life" cover version...fragging spectacular!

You'd love it fer shurrre.

At 7/11/2008 10:41:00 PM, Blogger Cormac Brown said...

Clive Owen I guess, I mean he's handsome and stuff.

At 7/12/2008 12:21:00 AM, Blogger BeckEye said...

Okay, well I don't have anyone to cheat on, but I already have a 5 in place for when I join the land of dating again.

1. John Travolta (duh)
2. Eddie Vedder
3. Jeremy Sisto
4. Michael Johns
5. Ewan McGregor

I'm thinking of taking Johnny T off the list, ONLY because it's kind of weird...I almost have too much respect and love for him to have a tawdry affair. It's marriage or nothing, and since he's already married (to one of the hottest women around, no less) I don't think I have much of a chance.

But I like to keep him on paper just as a reminder to all that he's still #1. So, that gives me a #6 slot, which I will also keep open and let Paul Rudd and Johnny Depp duke it out, along with whoever else tickles my fancy at that particular time.

At 7/12/2008 09:39:00 AM, Blogger Flannery Alden said...

I think you should take a page from Beckeye's book and insert Ewan McGregor. He can sing, he's beautiful, he's got the accent without the alcoholism of Hugh Grant

Ewan McGregor...sigh...drool...OK, nevermind I'm keeping him on my list.

At 7/12/2008 06:11:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, you'll have to take Johnny Depp off your list. He's MINE!

At 7/12/2008 07:48:00 PM, Blogger glassmeow said...

I'm shocked that Peter isn't automatically on the list! What? You have to stop and think about it?!?

You can have "Ewww" Grant, but I'm beginning to 'get' the Colin Firth fandom.

At 7/13/2008 12:58:00 PM, Blogger FranIAm said...

Colin Firth definitely.

I would also add John Krasinski and Hugh Grant. How can you not have Hugh?

I can't wait to hear what happens next and I send you fairy dust good thoughts from now til then.

And whatever are you up to this weekend????

At 7/13/2008 11:10:00 PM, Blogger pistols at dawn said...

I never make these lists, which is unfortunate, because I'm far more available and therefore a better pick. But Liz Phair should be on every dude's list ever, so we've got at least two proofs of his good taste.

At 7/14/2008 09:54:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

TONY ALVA: Because Lemmy is not a mere fantasy; he's the bar on which all Favorite Boys are judged. (Plant and Krauss were a-frickin'-mazing, weren't they?)

DR. MONKEY: Damn; I came back too soon. I was hoping you'd hound me.

DABICH: They are damn pretty, aren't they?

HOLLYC: Who wants to talk when you're objectifying your freebies? You've loved Paul since we first saw Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, haven't you?

At 7/14/2008 10:03:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

HAAHNSTER: If you’d rejoin the world o’ blog, I’d put you in the #3 spot, dude. Would you like to share your “Day in the Life”?

CORMAC BROWN: Clive is such a man, isn’t he? I think he’s going on the list today. (p.s. Love your avatar.)

BECKEYE: Think I’m going to add Ewan to my list today. Love him so. (I’m trying very hard not to be gossipy and snarky about your JT; be proud of my restraint.)

FLANNERY ALDEN: I would love to insert Ewan …………………..

At 7/14/2008 10:04:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

BLUEZ: I think Johnny has enough prettiest to go around. *sigh*

GLASSMEOW: Peter dropped off as an Automatic for this Person a couple of years ago for various reasons — but the fantasy still lingers.

FRANIAM: All I want from Hugh is for him to toss that fabulous head of hair. That’s all. Well, that’s a lie, actually.

PISTOLS AT DAWN: You’re #37 on my list, so you’re close to making it …

At 7/14/2008 06:32:00 PM, Blogger Jewgirl said...

Hello, Big (Sex and the City), Anthony Bourdain and John Krazinski.

Your man is fabulous, honey.

At 7/14/2008 08:41:00 PM, Anonymous m said...

since you haven't posted another 'cup' (don't you know we all hunger for it so?) i am going to clog up your inbox with pros/cons for all these fellas.

anthony-pro :hot,can cook. con: for some reason, i think he may have a temper.

peter-pro: hot, super-talented, in your favorite band. con: by being in your favorite band, the mystique will be broken.

michael-pro: hot, good writer, seems very sweet. con: too soft-spoken, you would eat him alive.

george-pro: hot, great politics. con: mine.

johnny-pro: hot, great actor, knew hunter s. thompson. con: lives too far away in france.

jeffery-pro: who is this?

i will be back, unless you post!

At 7/14/2008 11:36:00 PM, Blogger Moxie said...

Hmm. Well, I'm definitely with you on Jon Hamm. Ewan, Clive and George are up there too. Right now I have the hots for Pete Cashmore, the CEO of Mashable - google him and you'll see just how yummy he is. And I'm gonna meet him this Friday! Woot!

At 7/15/2008 08:18:00 PM, Blogger DivaJood said...

The true laminated list should have ten on it. And I think that there should be at least ten on the back up plan in case someone on the list turns out to be a complete, I dunno, neo-con.

So. My list:
1. Alan Rickman
2. George Clooney
3. Tommy Lee Jones
4. Hugh Laurie
5. Russell Crowe
6. Daniel Day-Lewis
7. Liam Neeson
8. Gabriel Byrne
9. Joe Mantagna (don't ask, I just think he's hot)
10. Clive Owen

So. There is a backup list as well, but I don't put it out there.

At 7/15/2008 11:05:00 PM, Blogger Pagan Sphinx said...

Sorry. I can't stand Hugh Grant; especially opposite Julia Roberts.

Here are mine

1) Phillip Seymore Hoffman (that deep voice; not the Capote voice he put on)

2) Tim Robbins
3) Sean Penn
4) Tommy Lee Jones (yes Jood!)
5) Emelio Echevarria
6) James McAvoy
7) Robert De Niro
8) Ed Harris
9) Harvey Keitell
10)Adria Brody

At 7/16/2008 12:45:00 PM, Blogger DivaJood said...

Oh, Pagan, I used to work with Ed Harris's mom - met him. He's quite dreamy.

At 7/16/2008 01:39:00 PM, Blogger gizmorox said...

Tony Bourdain is a fascinating man, and he's tops on my "I'd kill to have a drink with these people" list, but as for a Freebie I think he'd taste too much like an ashtray for my liking.

The three I'd pick from this list:

Ewan McGregor, hands down, should be a shoo-in. The boy is adorable and talented and completely normal and down to earth. And he loves Stereophonics, so we know he's got great musical tastes :)

Jeffrey Donovan is smoking hot. The way that man wears a suit should be illegal.

And while it took me a while to decide on a third, I'm going with Colin Firth. Tall, dark, handsome and British are four of the best words ever, but when you take into account how brilliant that kiss at the end of Bridget Jones' Diary was, yeah, I think he wins. :)

At 7/25/2008 01:01:00 PM, Blogger Grant Miller said...

No Grant Miller?

At 7/28/2008 02:20:00 PM, Blogger Dale said...

I can understand Grant Miller not making the list but me? I'm not on it?! Oh my! :-)

At 8/18/2008 05:38:00 PM, Anonymous James Ashley said...

Billy Dee Williams needs to be on your list. Ebony magazine just named him one of the 25 coolest brothers of all time.


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