Say a Prayer for Grammar Grrrl

I’m teaching a new class — Grammar Geeks and Punctuation Punks (yeah, we be witty and creative at my place o’ biz) — in five very short hours. I developed this class to complement the business writing and technical writing classes I teach, to go in-depth on the fundamentals of writing. I'm rather stressed about today's class. Nightmares all weekend — not the "I'm wearing just underwear to class!" one, but the "I'm drawing a blank in front of the class!" one.

I’m not sure why.

I love talking about grammar and punctuation. I'm the embodiment of the geek/punk (that’s putting it nicely; I’m a grammar bully and a punctuation Nazi, to be honest). I rant and rail to my boss when a poorly written e-mail goes out to the entire organization. I kvetch about fellow communicators who use which instead of that. I mock misused commas and colons. I can recite much of the rules in the Associated Press Stylebook. Yeah, I'm a grammar bitch.

And I love an audience. I enjoy standing in front of a class, feeding off their energy, excitedly explaining prepositions and appositives, making them giggle about subjects and verbs that don’t agree.

But I don’t feel prepared.

What if my pants fall down again? The horror if I call an adjective an adverb, or if I go blank on a grammar rule! Will I confuse them when I get into collective nouns? Do you think they’ll doze off on me?

No wonder my nails are gnarled raggedy and my eyes are circled darkly.

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