Mix Tape Friday: Rhythmic Hotties

The lovely and talented BeckEye (not too) recently tapped me for the perfect meme: a list of those musicians I think are the cutest and sexiest. What better way to answer her than combining it with a mix tape?

I spent a couple of weeks agonizing about this, winnowing down the list to a manageable twenty-one. I found that those who curl my toes curlier were not classically handsome, but had something that made them sexy as freakin’ hell. Most of them are guitarists, maybe something about the way their fingers tease the strings to get just the right note out of it. Listen to the songs; you'll get it.

What about a man do I find attractive? Height; I love tall men (Favorite Boy is a smidge over 6’4”; I get all smidgey standing next to him.) I adore funny, smart men. Men who are obsessed with music. Laughing eyes always get me. And a sweet ass makes me swoon.

And so I present Beth’s Fantasy Men: The Music Edition. The list isn’t in any particular order, other that something about one man leads to something in the next. Interesting connections, if you catch them.



Michael Stipe
Was there anyone more beautiful than Michael Stipe in the early 1980s? I prefer my Stipe with the wild curly hair. Those eyes … that mouth … mmmmmmmmmm. Funny, weird, mysterious; what’s not to love? I still find him attractive and I love his fashion sense these days, but I gotta go with the earlier version for my sexual fantasies. Could have had a shot at him back in those days, too. Maybe.

R.E.M. :: Kohoutek

Golden Palominos feat. Michael Stipe :: Boy (Go)

Peter Buck
Peter, on the other hand, just can’t pull off long tresses; I prefer my Buck cropped. He’s the kind of man who gets more handsome as he gets older. Well, maybe not; he was pretty f*cking hot back in the 1980s and 1990s, too … as long as his hair was tame. He hits all the marks above: Tall, check. Smart and funny: check, check. Obsessed with music: hells, yeah. If only he were as obsessed with moi …

R.E.M. :: Man-sized Wreath

Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians :: Madonna of the Wasps

Mike Mills
Not the cutest member of R.E.M. … but he had a short hot period during the Automatic for the People era. After Porter Wagoner and Gram Parsons, nobody rocks a Nudie suit better than Mike. Warren Zevon (and many a music critic) have declared him R.E.M.’s secret weapon; he’s a musical genius. Got a bit tipsy with my friend Joe at a Peter Buck/Kevn Kinney benefit in 1991, and stood behind Mr. Mills’ left shoulder all night, pretending to be his girlfriend. Surprisingly, I’ve never been slapped with a restraining order.

R.E.M. feat. Mike Mills on lead vocals :: Superman

Mike Mills :: Roadrunner

Paul McCartney
He was the first boy I loved. He set the stage for my visual taste in men for much of my life: dark hair, bit of a baby face, cute and snarky. Since I first fell for him when I was five, he seemed tall, so he probably contributed to that fixation, too. I look at photos of Macca today and still swoon a bit. Yeah, he’s showing a bit of age — but he still makes my heart skip a mini-beat.

The Beatles :: I Saw Her Standing There

Wings :: Arrow Through me

Nick Lowe
Nick’s the Jesus of Cool in my music bible. I’ve always thought Nick was handsome — back in the seventies, as pictured here, and today, with that lovely white hair. I saw him last week — damn amazing show. He still has it. If you didn’t get last year’s At My Age, I recommend you hit iTunes now; “I Trained Her to Love Me” is one of the tracks from the album. Have you heard Johnny Cash’s cover of “The Beast in Me”? Will tear out your heart. My cool cred: Nick and I share a birthday.

Nick Lowe :: The Beast in Me

Nick Lowe :: I Trained Her to Love Me

Elvis Costello
Don’t ick this choice. Elvis Costello oozes sexuality. Watch his eyes; so much humor and intelligence and life in those irises. Is there anyone who loves music more than him? He had pieces in Vanity Fair’s music issue two years running — one a list of his favorite album (our tastes are very similar; I hope he comes a-calling when he tires of Ms. Krall), the other a mix tape for 24 hours in New York City. Brilliant. I think, next to R.E.M., I’ve seen Elvis live more than anyone. I was supposed to see him on Monday, but his show has been postponed due to the concert hall being damaged by the tornadoes. Elvis, come see me soon!

Elvis Costello & The Imposters :: When I Was Cruel No. 2

Elvis Costello :: Green Shirt


Glen Tilbrook
I’ve had a crush on Glen Tilbrook since I heard my first Squeeze song in 1979. He has Paul McCartney’s baby face and turn of a witty phrase — with a more angelic voice. Saw Glenn live about 18 months ago, and he’s just as charming and snarky and funny as he was during his Squeeze days. I must confess that the only time I’ve flashed boobs at a concert was at a Squeeze show at the Fox Theater in 1985; he still deserves that honor.

Squeeze :: Black Coffee in Bed

Glen Tilbrook :: Genitalia of a Fool


Gram Parsons
Beautiful, an absolutely beautiful man. My fellow Georgian made the Nudie suit cool for non-country artists. He brought twang to rock music. He discovered Emmylou Harris. He partied with Keith Richards. His death gave us one of the best stories in rock. And, damn, could Gram sing. “She” has been on my Top 100 list for decades; never was there a more lovely song using just pronouns. He sang a great cover of "Wild Horses" while with Flying Burrito Brothers.

Gram Parsons :: She

Flying Burrito Brothers :: Wild Horses

Keith Richards
I figure eighty percent of you are cringing over this choice. But don’t. I have dreams about musicians all the time … and Keef is always the sweetest beau in that world. He’s funny. He was cute, before the drugs aged him and ravaged his face. He’s one of my favorite guitarists of all time, and I love his singing voice. (Favorite Boy loves him, too ... but don't most guys?) He gives Mick all sorts of sh*t. “Little T&A” gets me all distracted and naughty. And, c’mon, has anyone had more fun with life than Keith Richards?

The Rolling Stones :: Happy

Keith Richards :: You Don’t Move Me

Jeff Buckley
Jeff Buckley should be on every woman’s list of sexiest musicians. Swoonably handsome (the photo here isn't the greatest; even rock gods have bad hair days, I guess) — with pipes that could break your heart — and fan-f*cking-tastic guitar work. How many male artists can cover Zeppelin, Nina Simone, Schoolhouse Rock, and Edith Piaf? It still breaks my heart that he died so young. Can’t help but wonder what could have been next for his place on the CD shelf.

Jeff Buckley :: Hallelujah

Jeff Buckley :: So Real

Nels Cline
Wilco has been energized since Nels Cline joined them on lead guitar. He blows me away with every performance. Scrivener and I saw Wilco in Mobile in early March, and he was blistering hot. He made wonderfully noisy songs like “I Am Trying to Break Your Heart” his own. Before their set, he joined opener John Doe on “Gimme Shelter” — and his guitar solo left me shivering. “Just a Kid,” from the SpongeBob Squarepants movie soundtrack, was the first song he performed with Wilco. Cute, isn’t he?

Wilco :: Impossible Germany

Wilco :: Just a Kid

Scott McCaughey
Ah, Mr. McCaughey. Peter Buck’s BFF, the Ron Wood of R.E.M., rocking those Ian Hunter sunglasses, having a damn good time. He’s the happiest rocker I’ve watched on stage. He writes great pop songs; y'all should be buying all his records. Cool cred: Paul Westerberg hired The Young Fresh Fellows to play at his wedding. More cool cred: Scott's bandmate and lead guitarist in The Minus 5 is our beloved Peter Buck (sadly, cropped from this photo shot at Athens' Georgia Theater). Even more cool cred: He wrote something very cool on my niece's T-shirt.

The Young Fresh Fellows :: I Wonder What She's Doing Tonight

The Minus 5 :: Cigarettes, Coffee, Booze

Lyle Lovett
When the news about Julia marrying Lyle hit the wires, I was one of the few who thought she got the better end of that deal. Lyle has great style; clothes hanf on him beautifully. Great eyes. You’ve seen the top of my mop, so you know I love his hair. Great on stage, great in movies. Bet he’s great in bed, too. Lyle also writes great songs, but here are my two favorite covers: The Dead’s “Friend of the Devil” (Lyle never sounded lovelier, and this song takes me to a lovely moment in my life) and Guy Clark’s “Step Inside This House” (a perfect song).

Lyle Lovett :: Friend of the Devil

Lyle Lovett :: Step Inside This House


Guy Clark
Guy Clark is the epitome of A Man — a Texan, to be exact. Nobody rocks the workshirt/faded jeans/boots look better than he. And he’s a Songwriter — thirty-plus years writing four-minute stories. And thirty-plus years running with pals like Larry Mahan, Jerry Jeff Walker, the late Townes Van Zandt, and Rodney Crowell. The two songs here are more recent, from the nineties — but I encourage you to check out his work from the seventies. If you like Austin singer-songwriters and you enjoy a good story, you'll love Guy Clark.

Guy Clark :: Baby Took a Limo to Memphis

Guy Clark :: Baton Rouge

Warren Zevon
You know I love him. You know I’ve kissed him (I really need to tell that story one day). He was too short for my standards (he was shorter than I), but his flirty nature, the way he’d cock his eye, the way he used words and chords more than made up for the missing inches. Damn, I still miss him.

Warren Zevon :: Poor, Poor Pitiful Me

Warren Zevon :: Bill Lee

Pete Yorn
Pete’s just plain pretty. His music hits my Pretty Good scale — not quite Great, but enjoyable all the same. He’s at the top of the list for soundtracks, so he’s recorded some great covers. Here’s his take on Zevon’s “Splendid Isolation.”

Pete Yorn :: Splendid Isolation

Pete Yorn :: Murray

Glen Hansard
Yeah, we’ve all been swooning since we saw Once. But I’ve been harboring the Hansard crush since Swirly Girl and I saw The Swell Season in concert last fall (and we’re going back for more in a couple of weeks). He’s damn handsome — but it’s his personality that won me over. Quite the charming Irish bastard, that one. Funny, too.

Glen Hansard :: Hungry for Your Love

Glen Hansard :: Broken Hearted Hoover Fixer Sucker Guy

Lloyd Cole
Lloyd Cole is one of those who never got the attention he deserved. The handsome devil writes and sings great songs, and his work in the nineties has stood the fickle test of the turntable. He also played bass on Matthew Sweet’s Girlfriend. He doesn’t leave me malcontent, not at all.

Lloyd Cole :: Mr. Malcontent

Lloyd Cole :: Tell Your Sister


David Bowie
I dare you to name a musician more stylish than David Bowie. Man still looks good. We saw him in concert — on the tenth row — maybe three summers ago, and my niece and I spent the evening oohing and aahing over his still-got-itness.

David Bowie :: China Girl

David Bowie :: Golden Years


Tom Verlaine
Of Tom Verlaine, Patti Smith once said, “Tom plays guitar like a thousand bluebirds screaming.” Isn’t that the best description of his playing style? One of the best punk guitarists — and definitely the cutest. Added bonus: I get to include “Marquee Moon” on a mix tape.

Television :: Marquee Moon

Tom Verlaine :: A Town Called Walker

Thurston Moore
Thurston eeks coolness — he’s 6’6” — he did a book on mix tapes before Rob Sheffield — he’s one of a small handful of folks to sing on an R.E.M. album — and he was on Gilmore Girls. Kim Gordon is one lucky woman. “Incinerate” is one of my favorite songs of the last couple of years — but I’ve included it on too many mix tapes. These two tracks are more than worthy to go on a hottie mix tape. You gotta love a man with punk sensibilities who can cover The Carpenters (my favorite one from their catalog, by the way) and cover it damn well. Spine shivers on this one.

R.E.M. feat. Thurston Moore :: Crush with Eyeliner

Sonic Youth :: Superstar (Carpenters cover)

If this list is too hot to handle individually, get ‘em all at once with the zip file.

Okay, girls and boys — who are your hottest musicians?

I’m off to fan myself and fantasize …

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