The Most Brilliant Question … Ever

The much loved and greatly admired Dale (of Passion of the) recently offered up his interview skills. Never one to skip a good quiz opportunity (and too busy to come up with ideas to write about), I waved my virtual hand and asked for five. Dale must have been busy as a … well, you know … this weekend, as he came up with some brilliant questions. In fact, they’re so brilliant, I’m going to answer just one or two at a time. Today’s question is the best, most thrilling, fantasy-inducing question I’ve been asked … evah:

Michael Stipe has lost his voice and needs someone to fill in. You're allowed one R.E.M. song to audition with. Which one do you think you could nail?

Is that a fan-damn-tastic question or what!

I agonized over this fan-damn-tastic question all weekend long. My long-desired fantasy to perform in front of Stipe, Mills, and Buck — and I get just one shot? I went through the entire catalog — from Chronic Town through Around the Sun — singing snippets and trying out my dance moves. I narrowed the list down to fifty … then twenty … finally, ten. But I could sing just one.

I should have stopped twenty-four years ago.

I’m a classic R.E.M. fan. I need to sing an early tune, a song that defines the band for me. My gut knew all along my audition song would be "Sitting Still." I can belt that one — and dance and twirl in ways Michael could appreciate. Plus, I’d get the lyrics sheet and finally prove Renae wrong.

But there’s one phrase in Dale’s question that sours it for me: you could nail. Unfortunately, thanks to my God-not-given musical talent, the only R.E.M. song I can honestly nail is "Endgame."

I do, however, think I nail the blue mask:


Come back tomorrow, kids, for another episode of Passions.

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