22 September 2008

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Many of you wrote to check on me during my extended vacation from the blogworld, and for that I’m grateful. However, I’m on too much of a squishy high over my new-friend crush on Coaster Punchman to write an intelligent, interesting post, so instead I’m going to address some of the rumors that swirled during my e-disappearance.

I did not spend the summer traveling Europe with R.E.M. Dammit.

I did not steal Peter Buck’s Rickenbacker.

My looking into that house down the street is not the straw that broke the financial camel’s back. I don't think ...

I didn’t win the lottery. Dammit.

I am not the reason why David Duchovny checked into that sex-addict rehab clinic. But he’s going to be in town next month shooting a movie, so maybe I can work in a relapse.

I am not among the seven people who actually paid to see The Love Guru. I may have been absent, but I still have taste.

Obama didn’t fist-bump me hard enough to bruise my typing hands. Dammit.

I did not sneak off to have a baby, although I was spotted walking around with a blanket covering my pudgy midsection.

I may have stalked Dale. But just a bit.

I didn’t track down Kid Rock to kick his ass for ruining a perfectly good Warren Zevon song. But I’m considering it.

I did not knock Noel Gallagher on his bum.

I didn’t see any concerts, except for Kathy Griffin. Dammit.

I will fill you in what I did during my summer vacation, so check back. Regular posting is back, baby!

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19 Comments:

At 9/22/2008 08:06:00 PM, Blogger Mountjoy said...

Thank Christ someone else thinks that Kid Rock mash-up is utter rubbish. Not only has he defiled two rock classics, but those lyrics of his are the lasiest, stupidest, twee words ever committed to music. It's a damn shame it wasn't Strychnine he was sipping from that godforsaken bottle, I say...

 
At 9/22/2008 09:40:00 PM, Anonymous filegod1 said...

I find it hard to believe you had nothing to do with that whole David Duchovny deal.

 
At 9/23/2008 01:04:00 AM, Blogger Johnny Yen said...

Good to see you back!

Do I even want to know what Warren Zevon song Kid Rock ruined? God help me.

I met CP and George last year. They are a couple of my favorite people.

 
At 9/23/2008 10:19:00 AM, Blogger Red said...

I hope that means mix tape Fridays are back, too. I've learned a lot from you.

 
At 9/23/2008 12:29:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Holy crap, you mean to tell me Kid Rock is still making "music"?

 
At 9/23/2008 12:33:00 PM, Blogger DCup said...

Quelle Surprise!!!! Here you are!

Hey - if you see Kid Rock, let me know. I'll hold him down while you punch him.

 
At 9/23/2008 01:05:00 PM, Blogger Bubs said...

Glad to have you back. So, how much of a summer does semi-stalking Dale actually take up?

 
At 9/23/2008 02:44:00 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

I'll stay away from the Kid Rock song. Glad you're back. Just listening to Chick Covers now - damn, you've got good taste (in music).

 
At 9/23/2008 08:40:00 PM, Blogger Chris said...

"Work in a relapse"

That phrase alone made this post worth reading!

Glad you guys had fun!

 
At 9/23/2008 10:54:00 PM, Blogger Barbara Bruederlin said...

No Gallagher pushing? Just what did you accomplish this summer then?

 
At 9/24/2008 10:13:00 AM, Blogger BeckEye said...

You weren't canoodling with Glenn either, you big liar.

 
At 9/24/2008 11:30:00 AM, Blogger katrocket said...

I kinda wish you did knock Noel Gallagher on his bum, because then I wouldn't have had to pay that guy $100 to do it for me.

 
At 9/24/2008 06:33:00 PM, Blogger Grant Miller said...

Peter Buck's Rick is a sweet guitar...But that doesn't mean I stole it.

 
At 9/24/2008 10:28:00 PM, Blogger Pagan Sphinx said...

Great to see you back, Beth!

 
At 9/24/2008 10:28:00 PM, Blogger Scott said...

You saw Kathy Griffin! Her CD is in my top 10 of the year, so far.

 
At 9/25/2008 07:44:00 AM, Blogger Dale said...

Kid Rock is making more kid rock is he? Tsk tsk.

I barely had to get a restraining order so the stalking charge isn't a full blown one (yet) Beth. Were you at Kathy G's show in Toronto? If you were and you didn't say hi, you could be in a lot of trouble.

The Noel Gallagher thing was shocking but enjoyable I must say and Katrocket, I'm willing to give you 50 bucks for the great idea.

 
At 9/25/2008 04:22:00 PM, Blogger dguzman said...

Sooooo happy you're back!

 
At 9/27/2008 01:28:00 PM, Blogger Katie Schwartz said...

This is my favey: I am not the reason why David Duchovny checked into that sex-addict rehab clinic. But he’s going to be in town next month shooting a movie, so maybe I can work in a relapse.

 
At 10/08/2008 09:03:00 PM, Blogger Coaster Punchman said...

I totally did not know about DD and the sex addict clinic. I wonder what they do in such places. I will investigate. They don't call me a cyberstalker for nuthin.

 

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