30 April 2007

Dork-a-thon 2007

Is this the Year of the Dork?

Coaster Punchman has been chronicling the dork-lights of his life. The Pug’s Marni recently shared one of her more graceful moments. That adorable Frank at Simarco Letters thinks he’s King Dork.

They’re amateurs. Time for the Master Dork to chime in.

I was born part Irish, part dork. Need photographic proof? That’s me in the spotlight during last fall’s Little Miss Sunshine Online Pageant — and that’s me in the corner. I was, obviously, voted Most Likely to Dork.

I was awarded the dork black belt for my brush with Prince Albert greatness and the unfortunate barista flirting incident.

But the dorkiness doesn’t stop there. Not even close.

Air Travel, Cup Style and last summer’s class flash helped me earn me my PhDork. And, of course, there’s my spectacular slide across the Publix produce floor. Who didn’t ooh and ahh the eyelash bonfire during my move?

There’s the time I had our group’s eight tickets for a Bonnie Raitt/John Prine show. My crowd arrived at the amphitheater that warm Saturday night … only to discover our tickets were for Friday. A bit of whispered dork charm and tears hidden from my pals — and the luck of having lawn, not reserved, tickets — and the nice Chastain ticket man let us in. I don’t think any of the eight ever knew I screwed that up.

And then there’s this embarrassing gem:

I rest my case. I could go on and on (and on ... and on ... and on), but even a dork needs her beauty sleep. And I need to stop before I share the embarrassing stories.

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At 5/01/2007 05:10:00 AM, Blogger Tanya Espanya said...

But who is the autograph from?

At 5/01/2007 07:51:00 AM, Anonymous HollyC said...

Ever get weird comments going thru customs with that in your passport?
or special treatment?
And hey, weren't we with you for Bonnie Raiit and John Prine that time? I don't remember any trouble about tickets...you MAY have dork moments, but you sure carry them off well!

At 5/01/2007 12:51:00 PM, Blogger Old Lady said...

You are just courageous.

At 5/01/2007 07:48:00 PM, Blogger Dale said...

Yep, you're a dork. So it Tanya for not clicking the link that would have answered the question.

At 5/01/2007 07:59:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

TANYA: That would be Mr. Peter Buck, my arbiter of cool, the man of my dreams.

HOLLYC: Yes, you and that cute husband of yours were part of the Raitt/Prine crowd. If I remember correctly, we all met at your place for cocktails before the show. Nice how I pulled off that FUBAR, huh, if years later you still didn't know?

OLD LADY: I'll start telling myself that.

DALE: But am I a lovable dork? And be nice to the cute pregnant lady; I added that link after she asked.

At 5/01/2007 08:16:00 PM, Blogger Tumuli said...

I'm also in the dork corner.

At 5/01/2007 09:59:00 PM, Blogger chelene said...

There's a few rockstars I would let invalidate my passport so I actually think that was pretty cool, Beth.

At 5/01/2007 11:14:00 PM, Blogger mellowlee said...

I think you're a lovable dork :O) I am a firm believer in the endearingness of dorkidom. (whatever that means eh? heh *HUGGLES*

At 5/01/2007 11:31:00 PM, Blogger Tenacious S said...

Dorks are more fun. Think of it all as little adventures. Then it's not dorky, it's thrilling.

At 5/02/2007 09:03:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

TUMULI: Welcome, fellow dork. We throw the best parties on campus.

CHELENE: Having the autograph was pretty cool. Asking my hero to sign it? Embarrassingly priceless.

MELLOWLEE: Thanks, doll. I'm proud of and embrace my dorkiness.

TENACIOUS S: Being a dork makes for much better stories.

At 5/02/2007 11:32:00 AM, Blogger Tanya Espanya said...

Sorry, I'm a donkey, I didn't see that link...and now I realize who he is... (does being a donkey measure up or down from a dork?)

Dale, shaddap, you rotten! I have pregnant brain, I should be excused.


At 5/02/2007 03:16:00 PM, Blogger Melinda June said...

Beth, those are some of the funniest stories I've read ever. It's so refreshing to know there are more of us out there. Dorks unite!

At 5/02/2007 03:42:00 PM, Blogger Grant Miller said...

But you're cool in the blogosphere. And that's all that matters now days.

At 5/02/2007 07:02:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

TANYA: I added the link after your first comment, so your brain is fine. But keep telling Dale to shaddup, okay?

MELINDA JUNE: Glad you enjoyed them. I enjoy telling those stories.

GRANT MILLER: Coming from you ...

At 5/02/2007 08:29:00 PM, Blogger Tanya Espanya said...

Beth, thank you, you're so kind to me! And yeah, that Dale, he's such a crummy troublemaker! ;)

At 5/03/2007 08:51:00 AM, Blogger gizmorox said...

Ooh! Can I just say how much I love "The Tender Bar"? I just noticed it on your currently reading slot. It's so good, I hope you enjoy it!

At 5/03/2007 09:33:00 PM, Blogger Dale said...

Of course you're lovable Beth. Never once have you told me to shaddap. Directly anyway.

At 5/04/2007 01:03:00 PM, Blogger blueblanket said...

I think "Dork" is a style all its own. Celebrate your dorkiness and be proud! Be all the dork you can be!

At 5/05/2007 02:59:00 PM, Blogger Coaster Punchman said...

Is it true that a signature from Peter Buck will invalidate a passport?

Your interview is FINALLY up at CPW!

At 5/09/2007 08:36:00 PM, Anonymous m said...

hey nerdster-
how are you going to travel to see rem in dublin with that passport??

back away from that bauble & go get a new one...

At 5/14/2007 06:21:00 PM, Blogger Grant Miller said...

FYI: I dreamt about "you" although I really have no idea what you look like etc. recently. Here's the dream - and it was one of those dreams you wish never ended - Pavement was in concert at the Metro in Chicago and they did an entire show of R.E.M. songs chronologically. It was the coolest show that never happened. And you were there!


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